Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
