Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
