I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
