I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
