so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
