Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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