I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
