Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
