You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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