Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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