I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
