I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
