You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
