Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
