One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
only you would photoshop your dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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