its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
