If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
