I wish you could order shots online.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
