conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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