My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
