CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
