I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
