I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
