I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
