I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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