Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
my poor anus
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
