Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
