I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
