I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
