they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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