We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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