just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
