Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
