I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
