That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
