Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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