you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
