She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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