I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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