The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
