Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
