he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I smell like Dick and happiness
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
