Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
