My brain says no but my pants say off.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We left the knife in your bed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
