butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
