Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
