K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
