It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
