I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
