I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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