She is in my trunk
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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