I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
